The Best Friend I Never Had.
We all have that one person who just seems magically “fit” us. The one you instantly find connection with, the one you tell all your secrets to. The one who is always down for whatever crazy thing you wanna do. The one person in the world you can trust. They are not blood, but instantly become part of you and you hope you never have to live a day without them.
My best friend and I met in middle school. We pretty much became inseparable from the start. Her parents were pretty strict, she was the youngest of four, with three older brothers. She didn’t get to stay the night with anyone unless it was family until I came along. For whatever reasons her mom and dad both trusted and liked me very well. They took me in as one of their own, so every weekend we could we would stay at each others house.
We would always find something to do to entertain us and we had the best time. I remember making plans about what we were going to do when we were grown. We both loved horses and loved music. There wasn’t much that we didn’t find a common liking with. I loved her so much.
Our friendship remained throughout high school and in to adulthood. Our birthday’s are both on the 26th, mine in June hers November. When she turned 18 she quit high school and moved to Louisiana with the guy she was dating, whom she also married that same day. My heart was shattered. I felt like I would never see her again, for several years I didn’t.
We stayed in contact here and there, always picking up right where we left off. She called me out of the blue oneway to tell me she was moving back to town. Again for years we were inseparable. We each had children around the same age and our girls became best friends too.
Dinners were a joint effort several night a week and we were always taking our kiddos to do something fun.
We have shared thousands of laughs, many many tears, motherhood, wife struggles, death,, and life. It might see strange to some when I say my life felt complete with her in it. I shared a lot of my childhood/teenage years with her. I miss her. Every. Single. Day. You're probably thinking that she died. Technically, no she didn’t, but she is no longer alive in my world.
I never thought we wouldn’t be friends. Ever. I thought we would grow old being friends, telling our kids stories of who we were before they knew us as “mom”. Sadly we are nothing more than strangers now. I don’t see her very often but when I do we pass by one another as if we had never met. That is heartbreak. And friends break hearts too. It hurts deeply, cuts us in our soul. There isn’t a day that goes by I don’t think of her. I often find myself still wanting to reach out to her, wondering how she is, wonder if she ever misses me.
There is a gap that may never be filled where our friendship once grew. We just grew in to different lives, different people. I saw a video one time that Madea posted about seasons. It is so good and really helped me understand that people who come in to our lives are not always meant to stay forever. Some are just there for a season or two, leaving us with a lesson to learn. If people want to go, let them go. I love that. I don’t want relationships I have to fight for, I want relationships that are simple, equal, real.
If your struggling with someone similar to this, I really encourage you to rethink the relationship. Do not beg anyone to be a part of your life. The right people will make a permanent presence in your life.
Love & Light, -H
