Just Stop Reaching

People. Some people get it and some just don’t. I have often lost hours of my life wondering why someone acted the way they did, or rather didn’t react at all. My expectation of people has drastically been reduced over the last year. My friend circle has narrowed from what it used to be. Now, don’t get m wrong I love people, and I see people everyday that bring joy to my life and some I dread to see. 

I used to constantly reach for people. 

Make things right (even if it wasn’t my fault)

Apologize for the way I felt, for the way I didn’t. 

Go out of my way for people who barely noticed I existed.

And for what? 

I believe this stems from childhood trauma. I grew up feeling like I was invisible, an inconvenience to my family.  That is a terrible feeling for a child, even worse it grew roots and as an adult has created a void that almost never seems to fill. You ever feel that way?

 I love therapy. I think everyone should have someone they can divulge to that isn’t connected to you personally or have a biased opinion about your life. My therapist told one me that there are street people, yard people, porch people, living room people, and bedroom people. I really wasn’t sure what this meant when she shared it with me but after time it started to make sense.   Not everyone should have access to you. People are different, their energy is different, what they bring in to your life is different. The right people will being the right things into your life. 

My therapist gave me some homework after one of our sessions; I was to stop reaching for anyone around me. 

Just stop.

Stop calling.

Stop texting.

Stop making plans. 

Stop reaching out. 

Stop inviting. 

It was not as easy as I thought it was going to be. I felt really lonely at times but I also came to realize that I felt that same loneliness when I was with certain people. This “homework” created space for opportunity to draw the right people into my life. 

If you are constantly feeling this way, then I encourage you to STOP. I know its hard but you owe it to yourself to surround yourself with people who “get you”, make you feel like you belong. Those people exist, I promise. Things may get quiet for a while, you might even feel alone, but its worth it. 

Remember at the end of the day that you are valued, you are loved, you matter and the right people will never allow you to question that. 

Love & Light -H