Haters

Someone told me the other day I need to learn to “act” and “dress” my age. First of all I was not aware that there is a dress code dependent upon age. Second how am I supposed to act? Who made the rule book for that one?

I pondered on the thought of what all that really means. Honestly I don’t give a shit but, I did give it some thought. See in my mind I am young. I also didn’t get to really enjoy my teenage years. Now with that being said, I am not talking about being wild and crazy, but rather thoroughly enjoying moments, being completely presence and finding beauty in things I would’ve missed as a sixteen, seventeen year old girl. 

I started the joyous journey of parenthood very young and at forty one my children are almost grown. I cannot say the I have any friends that are my age, that have children the same age as mine. Most are much older with grandchildren or quite younger.

To me age is just a number, your as old as you feel. Truthfully some days my body feels pretty worn and old. It feels the effects of all things past. My mind though is a completely different story. It is strong, sharp, and most days pretty clear. 

To me I am finding myself. I can do that now. Most of my days are simple, as the saying goes, “less is more.” For me that rings true. Social media is constantly showing me reels of the “old ways” being brought back. You know the ones I am talking about, growing your own food, baking your own bread, chickens running in the yard, clothes on the line. I dont know about y’all but, I have been practicing this way of life for a while now. 

I have found solace in this way of doing things. Its simple, minimalistic.  I realize that I am different. Sometimes that can be intimidating but in my heart I hope those around me find it inspiring. 

My clothes come from thrift stores and most of the things in my home have too. I can dress any way I want. I can be me. All of me. In all ways that make me who I am. You don’t have to approve, you don’t have to be friends with me, you don’t have to like me. 

At the end of the day, I am me. I used to not love her. I questioned her on the opinions of those around me. Today I could care less. For the first time in my life I am proud of me and more importantly I am free. 

Free of all those “opinions” that once held me hostage within the walls of myself. My life is peaceful, its quiet, and its mine. No one has to live it but me. And the greatest thing  about is I don’t need anyone’s approval to make me feel whole. 

Love & Light - H